Perhaps a laugh or two????????????????

My friend Bill is a procrastinator. He didn't get his birthmark until he was eight
years old.

My friend had a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him
what he meant.

I watched NASCAR today, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't
have to go so fast.

What do batteries run on? Think about it.

My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.

If you work on a lobster boat, sneaking up behind people and pinching them
is probably a joke that gets old real fast.

I love to go shopping and salepeople ask me if they can help me, and I say,
"Have you got anything I'd like?" Then they ask me what size I need, and I say,
"Extra medium."

"When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year.
I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six, I'll be ninety. lol