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I awake to feel stickiness on my sheets yet again
I turn on my bedside lamp and I feel the cuts move with the motion
I have had this dream before but this time It is so real.
i can actualy see the cuts I can feel the blood on them dripping onto my sheets.
i touch them to see if they are real.. Yep they are in my mind.
But not in my physical world.
What does this mean?
Does this mean I am wanting to cut again? Or does this mean I should start doing it to alive my depession again
I hve not cut on myself in years.. but I feel like I need an outlet and I cant seem to find it anywhere else..

What should I do.
I came here, for I did not want to trigger any of my normall crew in the Creative corner..
Plus you all have delt with this more recently than any of them excpet mayby Mary Alice ???

I am at a loss of what to do..
In my knightmare the cuts feel good and while I am cutting when I awake, i feel no remorse, and I also feel nothing.. Which also scares me..
I am not that badly off in the deperssion area.. Just stressed out and my physical pain is coming back to me very strong.. I have been ahaving many more migranes than normall, and I do not understand where the thoughts of cutting are coming from.. Plus why only in my dreams

When I look at what I used to cut with I get nervous and feel very sick to my stomach? Is this normall ?

I know I most likely should be talking to a threapist, but I can no longer afford one.. I am giong to go and see if I can get some help through my school since that is offerd now.. But I am at a loss right now..

any and all help would be wonderful..

Thank you in advacne

<font color=purple>The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.
- G.K. Chesterton
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