when i was caretaking a family member i was in a free support group for caregivers. it was stated, we lose more caretakers than we lose the patients. caretaking is exhausting. it is very, very important you have time for yourself. it is a recipe for disaster if we don't. (i had a srroke caregiving).
i googled for state, county elderly support for low income and found a state run plan to provide me with a cpn twice a week for a nominal fee. they also placed him in a adult senior daycare for 5 hours, 4 days a week. it is important that one use only the loved one's income to assess needs. i paid nothing for this service. i also got meals on wheels 5 days a week to help with food costs-free.
the badgering get can also wear you down. this is a challenge to deal with. if it were me i'd ask her does she want another kind of living arrangement and if so can she afford it? of course her answer will be no. tell her how she makes you feel. tell her you are trying to allow her to live contently but her criticism sounds like she is not appreciative for all you do.( it sounds like she has dementia. so she can still understand your remarks.)
holding in your frustrations, etc can cause depression in you. you don't deserve to be held hostage in your own home nor have a feeling of hopelessness.
i do hope you can get help...not only for your mom but for you. you are doing such a loving act. i applaud you for taking on this responsibility. also do you have siblings who can lighten your burden and help care for her too?