Cyran0, I sincerely hope you get some rest, both physically and mentally, on the weekend. Is there anything you can do to temporarily divert your thoughts from the huge load you're carrying? Can you do something with the kids, go to a park, watch a video with them? I've found sometimes if I push myself to physically do something when I'm depressed or anxious that it actually helps, even if I didn't want to do it in the first place. I'm humbled when I read of all the REAL problems you have when most of mine are manufactured in my own screwed up head. My husband tells me when he's worried about something he takes it to the worst scenario, and then figures out how he would handle it. Of course, he's an optimist by nature. All I know is nothing stays the same, the world keeps changing and your situation will resolve in time to the best of your ability. You're an intelligent man, and will take care of your family. It's the love you give them they will remember. My thoughts are with you and may you find peace at your doorstep once again friend.