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07:59 PM

What the Heck is Psychotherapy?

Therapy isn't like going to the doctor for a quick fix. You are not going to get some great advice or be prescribed a magic pill that makes you feel all better. It just doesn't work like that.

It is a place where you can examine things in your life more fully, and through this process, gain more control over problems that exist currently in your life, or that will come up in the future. Ultimately the hope is that therapy will impact your life in such a way that is meaningful to you - which is the "cure" of psychotherapy.

Therapy is called the "Talking Cure;" a name that can be a bit misleading. It is a process of self-discovery, self-exploration, self-challenge and personal growth. A lot of therapy isn't about talking, its about feeling, thinking, and doing -- trying new things out, learning new ways of living and making different choices.

You work with a therapist to learn new skills and ways of being, then apply them to your life. You may come to a therapist because you are having trouble in your life, maybe something just doesn't seem right, or maybe things are really out of control.

Either way, it is a therapist's job to work with you to explore and learn more about what is happening that makes you uncomfortable today, help you to solve your own problems, and learn to grow as an individual, couple or family. What you can expect from therapy is personal growth and improvement in areas of life that are unsatisfying to you.

Personal growth is the end result. The growing process is what is so painful.

During therapy you will grow. You will learn new ways of looking at things. You will learn new ways of thinking about things. You will learn how you typically look at the world, why that is and alternative ways of viewing things. You will learn how to cope with life difficulties more effectively. You will learn ways of responding and acting that work better for you, or how not to allow other people's viewpoints undermine your views.

Therapy is a tough thing to do. A therapist asks you to explore very personal aspects of yourself that are often painful. They are known for encouraging clients to "sit with their feelings" - this is a basic therapeutic strategy used to help clients learn more about themselves by learning to listen to themselves more.

Sitting in sadness, anger, anxiety, fear, or despair isn't a fun thing to do. After doing this in therapy, it is common for a client to feel vulnerable and want some distance from the therapist.

This is natural and self-protective. It is a healthy and natural response to experiencing pain. This doesn't mean it is time to leave therapy; in fact, just the opposite. It means you are doing some of the major work of therapy and are in the middle stage of your treatment.

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