onlymedid i can sympathise with you so much. i was abused by my dads sisters husband but by then everyone in my life that was supposed to look after me and guide me to adulthood had let me down big time so i was an easy picking for an abuser. i didnt speak or see my aunty who i was extremely close to for years and years by then my father had just disapeared out of my life my son was 2 and a half years old and my dad had met someone with a daughter and just left that was nearly 9 yrs ago. my aunty eventually came to see me (only because i had qualified in hairdressing and she wanted me to do both of her daughters hair) she told me her husband wasnt home so i went and after an hour he came in and i just fell to pieces inside i was shaking sweating it was awful he obv didnt come into the room i was in he was too scared to being the slimey creepy pervert he is. that happened once and i couldnt do it again. 6 months ago my dads partner got intouch via facebook and told me my dad was in a psychiatric ward and had tried to take his life twice he feels so guilty for just leaving me but i still havnt spoke to him i speak to her and her daughter but not him i am not ready. fortinatly me and my mother are tight now and have the best relationship we have ever had its taken time but we are there. it is hard when you see the person who abused you what ever abuse it was you went through. you are not a little girl anymore and if she even starts trying to make you feel uncomfertable then you have the right to say something or just go. when my dads partner got intouch my mother told me i am an adult now i dnt have to do anything or put up with anything i do not want to and she is right she said to me if i wanted to see my father then do it somewhere neutral so if it got too uncomfertable i could make my excuses and leave. if you feel threatend explain to your dad that you are here to see him and ask if just the two of you could go for a walk? you never know she may be different now your not a 'little girl' my grandad was an extremly abusive father and husband but now he is the oppasite? at the end of the day you are there to see your dad no her. as for my aunty i hadnt seen her in four years and 3 weeks ago i was out with friends having a great time when my aunty just walked past double took me then came back she was so appolagetic crying in the middle of a bar just appolagising saying she loved me? well she cnt of loved me that much when she knew what her husband was doing. familys are hard you cnt just pick and choose your relations. i wish you all the good luck in the world and hope you have a good time seeing your father.