He sits in on my therapy sessions, but will not go for himself. I think it's another manifestation of "don't admit to weakness." If he went to therapy on his own, it would mean acknowledging that he has a problem he cannot fix without help.

My T has been successful in convincing hubby that it is wrong to expect me NOT to feel emotions. Hubby no longer says "it's nothing to cry about" when I do. Before that, it was almost as if hubby expected the same Vulcan stoicism out of me.

***Trigger Warning***

Hubby and I both have PTSD from child abuse. What he suffered was more physical, while mine was more emotional. I am sure his beatings have something to do with it. I knew that all along, but in a joint session, T explained to me that it is not *for the reason* I thought it was. Instead of "my dad beat me for showing weakness, so now I can't cry because I'm afraid to," it is, "I refused to cry when my dad beat me, because I wouldn't give him the satisfaction."

And he has choked it off for so long that now he cannot identify emotions by name. When asked how he would FEEL if such-and-such were to happen, he answers with what he would DO if such-and-such were to happen. Yet he honestly thinks he is answering the question that was asked.

And of course, he denies any and all emotions. Example: Because of his PTSD, he sometimes has nightmares. Now and then I'll hear him crying in his sleep, ever so softly. He doesn't know he's doing it. When that happens, I roll over and hold him. He responds, snuggles in toward me, and holds me in return. It calms him down. In the morning, he may or may not remember having had a nightmare. But even if he remembers nothing, he will FLATLY deny that he was crying in his sleep. Which leads me to the question, if he doesn't remember, how is he so certain he wasn't?

(By the way, I no longer mention to him what he does while he's having nightmares. He's never going to believe me.)