When I was first diagnosed I read everything I could get my hands on. The first book was literally "Bipolar Disorder for Dummies." It was a really good entry into the world that we share. My wife read it and got a good understanding of the illness even if she can't understand what I am feeling.

To me, by your post it appears that you are in a very agitated manic state right now and like Confused said, you need to cool yourself down a little. In this state you will have a hard time making rational decisions.

Do you have a doctor you are seeing for treatment? If not, get one. Do you have a therapist you can talk to? If not, get one. A good regimen of therapy and medications may help you gain the self control you need in order to be able to better cope with what you are going through. Do not worry about your boyfriend right now. Take care of yourself and get the help you need. In the meantime, keep coming back here and learning from others who have walked this road before you. There are a lot of good people here you can turn to for advice. Give them a chance and listen to the advice.

But first and foremost, get the professional help you need to take care of yourself.

Peace,
Mac