I have so many funny psych ward stories. I am a horrible psych ward patient. Partially because I became psychotic and that's always an interesting mix.

So one day the med nurse flipped me off (we were having a heated debate) I got angry and said F*** this I'm leaving. As I entered the main entrance hallway a short bald guy that worked there grabbed my wrist. I pulled my wrist back and punched him in the face knocking him down. Suddenly every body was on top of me. They were carrying me to the isolation room when I saw and old lady (probably in her late fifties early sixties). She was pointing at me and laughing so I yanked my foot free and kicked her to the ground. When they got me in the seclusion room I yelled i'll take it by mouth so I wouldn't get the shot. They gave it to me by mouth and i was out. Woke up feeling great like nothing in my life had ever been wrong...

Another time I was severely anorexic and bulimic when I was admitted for a mental breakdown. There was a really big nurse on the ward. I refused to eat what the hospital prepared so my husband at the time brought in special food for me. I could have that at meal times but rarely ate. One day during the middle of the day I was hungry and asked for one of my bars. The big nurse refused saying it was not snack time. I told her how hungry i was and how long it had been since i had eaten. She still refused. So I tore off the leaves of the flowers that somebody had brought and threw all the flowers at her.

Yet another time, first psych ward I was ever in. I was put in a double room at the end of the hall. The first thing I did was barricade myself in the room. Putting all the furniture against the door, especially the bed. I took the sheets off the bed and lay them on the floor. The staff when they were able to get in told me not to barricade myself in. I told them "then don't put wheels on the bed". I was subsequently moved to a single room opposite the nurses station.

Finally, a trick I learned in the psych ward. You're not allowed floss but you are allowed tea bags. So I took the string off the tea bag and separated out the strings then using it as floss! I also snuck my cell phone into two psych wards. I bought size 10 shoes (I wear size 9) and put it in my shoes. When it came time to go through the check in I would very non-chalantly take off my shoe laces saying I know the drill. Talking like a pro they never made me take off my shoes and never found the phone.

Hmmm...so many crazy times. Can't believe how utterly insane I got. Many more stories that are probably not appropriate here. I often think back to the many times i've spent inside psych wards when I get lonely or sad. Looking back and seeing how far gone I was mentally is very sad, but if i don't laugh at it I will cry. So laugh away.

A word of caution. Don't ever attempt suicide in a psych ward. I did twice and let me just say no bueno (not good). They keep you longer, put you on a one to one and watch you like a hawk, absolutely no privacy...

Love and Hugs,
Tara