I think it is often a question of where someone is at with their understanding of how a particular disorder impacts their life. Equally significant is the degree of effects and their present knowledge and awarenenss of appropriate treatment options.

I think the language we use, and how we use it is important to consider when examining how well or how poorly an individual is managing or not managing their life with a disorder. It is dangerous territory that requires careful attention to timing and an accute awareness of where the person is at in learning to cope with the effects and management of a disorder.

I know for me when people challenge my assumptions and suggest I am using a disorder to excuse my behaviours, justify or excuse my response to unwellness I will retreat and avoid opportunities that might put me outside my comfort zone. Sometimes our comfort zone is very small and our need for accommodation very high.

I don't think I know anyone who doesn't want to increase their capacities to cope with the effects that describe a disorder. Sometimes the steps towards greater capacity are not visible to outsiders. Sometimes they are. When people watch and judge and suggest I am not making progress makes me feel put under a microscope, or a spot light and measured according to a standard I feel incapable of reaching.

We all need to be met where we are at. If someone uses a disorder to explain or justify themselves then that is where they are at. If knowing that much helps them cope then that is their place to be at that moment in time. It may aways be enough for them or they may want to test the waters now and then to see if they can increase the parameters of their comfort zone.

I think one of the most challenging aspects of living with the effects of a disorder is knowing how quickly others will judge my character for being afflicted. How many people in the world still think mental illness is bunk. That is when lines like 'I can't help it' can actually serve a person's best interest. With all the messages out there I think most of us feel a great deal of guilt and self loathing for being afflicted. We do think it is our fault.

We are always getting messages that tell us it is a character weakness. To counter those messages it can be very helpful to remind ourselves it is not our fault. A legitimate disorder alters how we lives our lives. How well we respond to treatment, how long it takes and to what degree symptoms alter a person's life are different one person to the next.

Even in recovery there are too many shoulds telling me what I need to do when symptoms are accute. If I am not up to doing what I 'should' based on someone else's assessment or even their own experience always, ALWAYS make me feel more guilty, weaker and useless for not having the will, determination or strength of character to do what even I know is best for me. Even if it something as simple as getting up and brushing my teeth. When symptoms are accute nothing is simple. Doing what I should do isn't as easy as it might seem and judging me for not doing what might be easy for someone elses doesn't help me a bit when I am really suffering the most.

I am not speaking to anything said on this thread, just reflecting on my own thoughts and experiences on my journey through awareness, understanding and glimmers of hopefullness.