Hi there!

I think she really does care about you. After 12 years together..................wow. I agree with everyone else. You need to open up and pour your heart out to her. You may be surprised to find out she already knows. Be sure to explain to her that you feel very very vulnerable right now(remind her of the self-injury) and that you are worried she will abandon you/make you find someone else. I would bet money that she won't. By telling her your feelings, you put yourself in a position of allowing her to help you heal that part of yourself which is a very painful process. By telling her your feelings, you are showing you are ready to move forward. It is very tough, however, it sounds like you wouldn't want anyone else to help you down that path anyway. You will probably always have motherly feelings towards her, but she can help you come to terms with it. Hang in there!