It does sound like she's continually trying to convince herself that she loves herself.....& she's constantly trying to get you to validate what she is telling herself. If she really had those feelings, she wouldn't need to constantly be going through the same behavior.

Yes, we need to be secure with ourselves before we can truly have good relationships with others....but life isn't all about loving ourselves.....it's about loving others as we love ourselves.

There is no relationship that we need to be trapped in. Sounds like if she's really driving you crazy, you need to re-evaluate your living situation. Not sure how long her behavior has been going on? But it sounds like you need to be a bit more aware of people's personalities before getting involved with them let alone committing to living conditions. (something that's important whether same sex or not)

Hope you can work out your situation in your best interest.