I said at the end of my post "I don't want to lose him" because I feel that if we can not communicate & get through issues we have then eventually it will result in a very unhappy marriage. To make a marriage work takes work & effort. If he does not ever tell me what is bothering him then I will never know to change, something as small as the way I turn my head in the morning, I need to know so I do not continue or try to change, working together is important. This is not the only thing we do not communicate, everytime we have an argument or disagreement, it ends in him joking around & never solving or discussing the issue at hand. I know in most people if things bottle up long enough they become larger than they would have been if only discussed to begin with. I don't expect us to work out ever problem we may encounter yet I think the big issues do need resolved, such as this one.

Like you said sex is very emotional as well as physical, thats why this hurts so much, I need to know that he does indeed love me, yes he tells me...but sometimes words just aren't enough. I found an article awhile ago regarding sex issues in marriages & it said as mundane as it might sound but try scheduling a certain night during the week that no matter what you make together time. We thought we would try that, it worked for all of maybe 2 weeks, it is hard to stick to a schedule when you work late, have family problems arise, etc. besides it does not seem as genuine(I guess to me thats where the emotional comes in). Shortly after that we did make a much better effort at having sex with each other yet that seems to have gone away, maybe I am not trying, I guess I tend to give up when I get nothing in return..no effort, no emotion, no romance, nothing.

I too have a high sex drive, which he met in the begining. Like you Survivor, I don't mind that he does this, it is that part of him not wanting, or seeming to want to be with me. He can release his tension all he wants as long as he doesn't forget that he has a marriage & that takes both of us! I don't think he would like if the tables were turned. I agree "I don't know" is not an aceptable answer, even if I can not believe that is something I am saying.(I do remember hearing that from my mother many times, LOL) I suppose I need to be glad that he is not cheating, just doing it on his own. Although I did explain to him that I felt as if he was cheating, meaning that I was not something or someone that turned him on so he went elsewhere.

We are going to sit & talk tonight, I am not sure where it will get us, but I need to talk, I can't continue feeling this way, I need some answers, even if that means we need to talk with a professional, although we can't afford one, we will manage. Our marriage is worth every penny & effort it takes to make us both happy!!