Even though we're not officially divorced yet, I already call him my "ex". He hasn't been my husband for a long time. The glue that stuck the name on was when he started dating someone else less than two months into our separation. He had no intention of working anything out with me, even after almost 13 years together. So, the sooner I move on with every aspect of life, including how I refer to my ex, the sooner I can heal and my kids can heal.