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Gilead · Apr 19, 2011, 06:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LazyLogophile

I know that this may not be received well, but let me start off by saying that every problem is real to whomever struggles with it and I am not trying to invalidate anyone.

Quote:

Originally Posted by LazyLogophile

Having said that, I have noticed a trend when I speak to people, and view many posts on this site, that someone who has been diagnosed with a disorder will tend to bring it up before speaking about their problem. It seems as though it's almost a blame shift, like "I have no personal responsibility for how I handle my feelings, because I have a disorder". I recognize that this is not the case with everyone, but I see a general trend and it makes me curious. Someone once told me (in face to face conversation) that they just couldn't help but be depressed all the time because it was part of their disorder. "It's just the way I am, I can't help it." I understand that might be the way you respond to things RIGHT NOW, but that doesn't mean that you have to be that way.

For example, I have struggled with depression my whole life and even have the diagnosis of more than one therapist on more than one occasion that I have BPD and clinical depression. They put me on several anti depressants, but I was never on them for long. I just didn't like the idea that because my personality didn't fit into some Fruedian definition of normal, that I had to take drugs. Frued had his own issues. The guy was a cocaine addict! Why does his opinion of me matter? Do I get depressed sometimes...hell yes! Do I have issues that need to be worked on? Of course! Who doesn't? Can anyone claim to be completely healthy? Is that even possible in the world of psychology? It's all so subjective.

I feel like a lot of people use their disorder as an excuse to just accept defeat, rather than work on overcoming the psychological obstacles that are impeeding their ability to be more satisfied with their life. Again, I am not invalidating disorders, or saying they aren't real, but I get the impression with a lot of people that they are using it as a justification for their actions or the way they respond to the people around them and difficult situations that naturally arise during the course of their life. I feel like a diagnosis is meant to enlighten a person to certain behavioral patterns that are undermining their ability to deal with situations in a positive way. I see many people who ARE using their diagnosis as a method of self-improvement, rather than as their unchangeable identity. What worries me are the people who claim that this is just the way they are and that it is up to others to adjust to them. I don't know if that is really beneficial. Even if you convince loved ones and friends that they have to treat you a certain way so as not to aggravate your symptoms, is that really helping? Shouldn't you be challenging yourself to overcome this "disorder" by excersizing your ability to control the way you react to things by changing unhealthy patterns of thought?

I also want to acknowledge that medication works for many people, and just because I didn't find it helpful doesn't mean that someone else won't. My PERSONAL belief, and I say belief because I am no doctor and I have my own issues clouding my judgment, is that in the case of almost any disorder there is no "magic pill" that will make you feel better about yourself or change your behavior for you. That is up to you. Therapy is a great way to do this because you can work through your issues with someone who is objective and has no alterior motives other than to see you healthy and happy at the end of your treatment.

I hope this mammoth rambling is received the way I intended, as a post based just on curiosity. It's just some thoughts, and nothing more. I'm interested to see if anyone else sees things the same way, or can point out where I am missing the point or maybe there are aspects that I'm not taking into consideration...

Thanks to anyone who replies.

I've read through this thread and am compelled to weigh in. Finding the words is difficult. I think we are ignoring the fact that there is a different set of circumstances and gradients of illness and pain. I have always functioned and coped with the world as best I could. I buried the past as deeply as possible. Events in my life led all of those issues to re-surface with a vengeance. When I discovered this site I learned more about myself and the people that inhabit "this world". I now know that my problems/issues are trivial in nature compared to many others here - and yet they still confound and cause me pain. I feel I know many of the people here - I love and respect many of them. To suggest that people use their pain (and pain is what it is) as an excuse for their behavior is ignorant beyond imagination. I sit and listen (in person) to people that have survived events that you clearly do not take into account. I watch my closest friend fall into darkness when triggered - you have no idea the depths of despair that people face each day and the struggles they have to overcome. Your post proves that beyond a doubt. Therapy and medication do not work for everyone - neither has worked for me - kindness, understanding and respect is the only things I respond to. Finding those elements are not always easy in this world. This place provides that for many. There isn't a one size fits all solution for everyone. I'm happy that therapy works for you as it does for many others. But your issues whatever they may be are not representative of everyone. Therapy to me was a place where I could talk and air my feelings - it could not cure me with exercises of the mind, it could not uncover some deep dark secret - I already know the secrets. People are here to communicate with others - it is a sounding board for many - and an absolute lifeline to others. To not see that staring you in the face is telling.

There have been responses in this thread from some that I have grown to really think the world of - and to read their responses it is clear to me that this has deeply affected them. I apologize to all of them for the poor judgment and narrow mindedness you and one or two others have shown. You simply have no understanding of what others deal with.

Accept my blessings at your good fortune.