Hi, Jenn, sorry you are having a rough patch now, I wish I could give some magic advice to give you some relief. It does sound like you need "relief" from both your situation and your own criticism? Can you think of something simple you would like that might give you comfort or hope for a bit and go for that?

I guess I would try to find a helpful relative I could send my son to stay with for a bit, someone I trusted, just for a week or two and get my living situation sorted out with my ex- and current bf and figure out what I wanted/needed to do for myself and how to proceed; just give myself enough space to make a "plan" I felt I could work on without added stress caused by a feeling of "mess" about my life.