Alexandra,

I think you have it......

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I think that extremes are what can be hard.

If people post a lot when they are in distress (and their distress is frequent) then that can be hard for other people to read. Especially if they don't really see what they can do to help the person.

If people go all quiet when they are in distress then that can be really hard for that person too. Especially... If nobody seems to notice. If nobody reaches out to them.

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It's the extremes that aren't so good --isn't it!

For example: If I don't post at all when my world is crumbling....... how can I get support??? And if I post too much..... it may be like the boy that cried wolf--- people could get desensitized to my posts.

I guess I need to get beyond the dysfunctional coping patterns--(but that's way easier said than done ) they aren't necessary here-- they don't apply here at all!

"Finding a balance"--- I think that's good advice.

mandy