Hey raining , I hear you, im on the other side of it, think someone i love is dealing with this too, not sure but as someone on the other side of it, the friend of the person who is struggling, please do not give up on your friends or family or try and shield us from this, i would give anything if my friend could tell me so i could do more and he would feel he didnt have to hide something about himself, i love him and support him , no matter what, i know your friends and family do too, so give them a chance to help, i hope you are doing ok, im really glad you reached out its not easy im sure, god bless you