Trish,

I'm sorry you had a dream like that. I also think you should talk to a professional about it. Some of the people at college counseling centers are very good - they are often the ones who train the graduate students.

I had a dream like that too, a few weeks ago. It was right after my T told me I had to stop cutting. The dream was very real - I had turned my stomach and one thigh into mush; much worse than I ever really did, and I could feel it too. When I woke up I thought I had really done it and was wondering how I was ever going to explain doing that. It must have taken at least 5 minutes before I was able to figure out that it was a dream - I was in shock. One more thing I haven't told anybody, even my T and especially my husband. I'm not really sure what it means. Maybe I was just satisfying that urge one last time before giving it up?

I think it is a good sign that looking at what you used to cut with makes you nervous and sick to your stomach. There might be some part of you that still wants to cut again, but that part is not in control of you. I would probably take your dream as a sign that you need to work though the issues that made you want to cut before, especially since the dream is recurring. Does that sound like a possibility to you?

Wendy

<font color=green>"Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible" Carl Jung</font color=green>