I finally went for ptsd evaluation and for the subsequent first visit to a shrink and a therapist. i was surprised that I kept the appointments and i'm glad to know that my symptoms have a diagnosis - combat ptsd.

Now the second surprise is that I told both docs that I didn't want to enter therapy now. Reason - both of them admitted that not all patients get better, some get worse, way worse with the recommended cognitive therapy. Both stated that they don't know whether the decline was caused by the therapy or just not prevented by the therapy.

Either way, i decided that I'd rather not open the closed-shut boxes and for sure do not want to go through the aggressive therapy if there's a chance i cud get worse.

So ... I'm just coasting and seeing what happens with these symptoms. i do have their phone numbers and emails if i need them. I'm surprised they agreed with that since "I needed help" is the reason I went in to begin with.

C'est la guerre