Hello

Before I begin I'd like to say that I realize full well that this may seem stupid and unorthodox, but it's bothering me a lot.

I'll start by saying that I am and always have been a quiet, shy young man who has always had trouble talking to girls D: I spend a lot of my time playing games, which is where my problems start.

One of my guilty pleasures is roleplaying (not sexual roleplay, of course). For those who don't know, you basically create a character and roleplay the character as a seperate person with other people. It's not the coolest thing to do, I know, but I like writing and it lets me be creative, so I enjoy it. I used to play as the same character on the same game server with the same people.

Up until last summer, my roleplay experiences had been entirely innocent. Then I started roleplaying with a girl!!! This roleplay quickly got romantic. It wasn't my intention, as I always looked down upon people who roleplayed sexually and romantically as pathetic, but I enjoyed it (not just in a sexual way, I promise!). It was especially fun because I liked the online company of the girl I was roleplaying with. Naturally (at least for a romantically and sexually inexperienced young man such as myself), this roleplay turned into me developing feelings for the girl behind the character. We got closer and eventually ended up in a long-distance relationship.

We've been in this relationship for almost half a year now, and I've developed very strong feelings for her. One thing I've discovered from this, however, is that I am a very possessive, needy and jealous lover.

Throughout our relationship, she had been doing romantic and sexual roleplay with other people. I always felt jealous, as that was our only kind of intimacy and I was afraid she would enjoy herself more with other people and replace me, or something stupid like that. One day I told her how I felt, and she promised not to do it with other people. We spent a lot of time together online, as we usually did, and got even closer.

She stayed true to her promise mostly, but the feelings of jealousy never left me. I've constantly been suspicious of her, confronting her about going behind my back. I'd pester her with melodramatic questions, asking if she was getting bored of me, etc. Basically I've been clinging to her too much. She always told me she liked me being clingy, but just recently it became a problem.

One day I decided to confront her about going behind my back. I was only acting on suspicion and impulse, and we broke it off for a day. She said she was happy being single, but I wasn't. I apologized and now we're back together, but we're not nearly as close as we once were. We don't talk much anymore and she's made it clear that if she wants to roleplay with people romantically, she will, which is fair enough. This was 3 days ago.

The only problem in our relationship has been jealousy, in my opinion. We both get along very well. I just want to know how to make it up to her for being so jealous and clingy. We hardly talk now, and when we do it's awkward and tense. She told me I was the only one she could trust and that I was the only one she didn't have to be careful about saying anything around, so the fact that she's no longer comfortable talking to me really hurts. She wants space, but I miss talking to her and it makes me sad to know that she's ignoring me to get intimate with other people, even if I might deserve it. I'm on thin ice and I don't know if being affectionate will make her want to stay with me. I really do have very strong feelings for her and I want to make things better so that we can move on and go back to loving each other again!

Again, I know how this will read to a lot of people. It may seem pathetic, trivial, sad, whatever. Just please have some respect and realize that I wouldn't be posting this if it wasn't bothering me a lot. Thank you