There is one memory I know is real..happened around the age of 5 and I still hold the resentment for the 'mother' that knowingly left me in the situation when I was 9 to be with a man on the other side of the world. I've never told anyone about what happened because I felt like if my mother didn't care if he did it, why whould anyone else.. I'm 32 now and shaking so bad just suggesting it without even trying to think about it... I can't even imagine trying to tell someone.

My problem with this lone memory is it's making me question dreams and other little images/clips that pop into my head at random times, a lot of times as I'm trying to get to sleep at night.. so I don't know if they're real.

I've had them in waves it seems like..first one started in high school after being rear ended by someone while riding with my cousin.. after we got out... the look on my cousins face sent my mind to another moment that i didnt recall and I'm still not sure if it was real or not...but it felt real..could actually feel sharp pains radiating out from my lower back and I was so scared... and when i managed to come back to the present and get focused, i was being questioned by a police officer about the accident and he was accusing me of being drunk because i wasn't showing any emotion.

I've had them off and on ever since that night.. I don't know what brings them on and don't know what to make of everything because they are so fragmented but so intense it's overwhelming and they're just getting worse and more frequent as time goes by and more of life piles up on top of it, feel like i'm losing my mind and it's intruding on my life enough that I don't get my work done most days because I'm stuck in a daydream or trying very hard to focus on anything else to get them to stop that I get nothing done.

I have been lashing out at my husband for no or very little reason and he's getting tired of it.. I'm getting tired of it..I feel like **** over it but I cannot deal with everything that is going on in reality much less what's happening in my mind.

I guess I'm just at a loss... anyone ever have a problem like this? how do you know whats real?