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I agree completely with sundog. It sounds like you're in a rough place no matter what you call it and would benefit from a psych evaluation. If you have a disorder you can get help, if you don't you'll have that peace of mind and can more easily focus on the external problems you're facing.
I hope this helps and yes, please let us know how you're doing.
Cyran0
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My blog: http://cyran0.psychcentral.net/
Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, PTSD (childhood physical/sexual abuse), history of drug abuse.
Meds: Zoloft, Lorazapam, Coffee, Cigarettes
"I may climb perhaps to no great heights, but I will climb alone." -Cyrano de Bergerac
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