Where to begin? I'm a 33 year old heterosexual male with generalized social phobia and a bit of depression as a result. I've been this way since 6th grade I guess. I'm on 20mg of Citalopram daily and not in therapy. I think I might need a higher dose and I'm definitely going to look for an affordable therapist. I recently realized I'm pretty Introverted, I've always been a reserved personality and never cared for stereotypical male bs. I hate stereotypes in general and try to respect everyone. My problem isn't that I don't get small talk and sarcasm etc. My problem is I can't stop worrying what people think of me and I'm intimidated by most people. I'm a sensitive guy, not into sports, I like video games and am getting into reading and I am passionate about indie music such as Radiohead, Sight Ros, Jonsi, Grizzly Bear, Department of Eagles, the Shins, Animal Collective, Panda Bear, Deerhunter, Atlas Sound, the Smiths, the Cure, the Decemberists, Iron & Wine, Sufjan Stevens and I also like the Beatles and Bob Dylan and jazz and classical music. Anyway... I've never considered myself a prude but I've always found most people to be rude, crass and lacking class and morals (I believe there is a god but I'm not "churchy" or tell people how to live their lives.) Because I'm hyper-sensitive I worry that the world is full of these "toxic" people and that good people are a dying breed. I view these people as most likely to judge me because they are harsh and disrespectful or don't care about the sympathies of others. I'm afraid of people not like me, I find shy people easy to talk to, non threatening, nice. I worry people will think I'm a nerd or loser even though my family and close friends think I'm normal and fine and that it's just the phobia talking. They find it odd at my age that "I worry about what teenagers and kids worry about." My friend says his anxiety centers around adult concerns like diseases and debt etc... Basically they try to cheer me up by telling me we're all at the age in which "cliques" don't matter, don't hold weight and don't exist. I haven't had a girlfriend since 19 and keep non close friends at barely acquaintance levels. I've lost too many good years. None of the self help covers specifically how I feel. Nothing covers feeling like an outsider from a clinical perspective. Everything written online and in books sounds like it's geared towards mainstream personalities that like parties, bad trends etc... People want to just integrate, not anything about building confidence in your individualality. My problem is I am not interested in what I perceive to be superficial and cultural bs, but have social phobia related to what people think of me for being disinterested in what some deem social "norms." There have been very rare moments I've given people a chance. My ultimate goal has been to love who I am and I've had glimmers of what that's like. In those moments the anxiety isn't existent. I just don't think this will ever go away.