It's usually ineffective when you lie to yourself. Your memories are what they are: memories. You can't change the past, so you must accept it. You're probably blaming yourself for allowing bad things to happen to you. You must forgive yourself. I'm not sure who originally said this, but "forgiveness is giving up all hope for a better past."

Insomnia is tough to deal with. When you can't sleep, you feel incapable of doing anything. You don't want to socialize, you can't think clearly, you're irritable, and you feel lousy. Try meditation or yoga. It might help.