I am so frustrated right now with my pdoc. He wouldnt change my meds.I dont feel they are helping me one friggin bit. He just changed thr routine in which I take them. Its all going to be taken at nighttime now. And guess what time i have to take them??? 8 Friggin oclock! I will not go to bed that early .. and that is what he wants me to do!!! HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOO??????? I am 37 years old here not some 1st grader! DUH! And I will not give up my shows that are on later on at night. LIke ER and Boston Legal...nope no way jose! And .... not allowed to give up on my dreams etiher. I am defeating myself by doing that. Right Doc easy for you to say. He thinks I should start college...he heard nothing I said! I cant handle doing anything like school or a job now. Its too much ! And he thinks i am just self defeating.... I know myself and he claims he knows me better! ARGH!!!!!!!!! This was the longest talk he and I had ever had and I am so dissappointed in how it went. But I have no choice of who I get to see. This is who is at the clinic I go to .Ohhh and good news! My BP is up to 200/98 now!! He knows nothing of my stopping the meds. But he was on me to take better care of myself. Dang I feel like some bouncing ball around here anymore.
Just dont know what i am doing here. What is the point of my existence?