Oh, no, no, no. That is so far beyond unacceptable that you need a high-powered telescope to even see acceptable from there. Your husband is cruelly manipulating you and has serious, serious mental issues himself. You're not a piece of ***** and you deserve so much better than this.

Hard as it may be, I think you need to start seriously reconsidering this relationship. People who are manipulative in this way almost never change, and he's just going to make you feel like ***** over and over again. He's being very emotionally abusive.

And, you know, he won't actually kill himself if you don't give into his demands. It's a manipulation tactic... don't let him use you like that and screw up your job.

Getting a therapist is probably a good idea. That way you'll have a dispassionate outsider who can help you figure out what to do.

I'm so sorry you're being treated like this. You have done nothing wrong and don't deserve it.