Just, I'm sorry to hear that your hurting. In your situation I would too. It's okay to hurt.

It sounds as though your parents in laws are having a difficult time accepting the loss of their son. They may need somebody to blame for what happened. It could either be the docters, you, or whatever. It's a step in grieving some people take unfortunitly.

Don't be hard on yourself. There's not even a reason you should try to defend yourself. I bet you did all you could, and if you could have taken it all away you would have. This disease is a monster, and nothing can change the resulting affects. It wouldn't matter if you were there 24/7, and bought expensive gourmet food. Either way he was too ill to eat.

It is such a shock into reality when the person you love is there one day, and then gone the next. It is very difficult to fathom. And very very lonely. With time and healing of course the memories and times that were cherished with your friend, dog, and husband will be there to keep you company, warm, and happy. But it takes awhile.

It's important to keep those memories.....that's how they continue on past death.

I'm very sorry for your pain. I too experience this pain, and know of the complete emptiness and unrealness it is. It's almost like a bad dream.

I know you will be okay Just. You can get through this, and live on with your life.

I think about you often, and hope the best for you.
Desirae