this sucks. i just got a call (well, my mom) from this place in nj thats a residential stay and they want me to come for an interview for admission. im sorry, i know some may say it might be good for me but, i CANNOT take the, seperation-being away from home for a few months-creating friends all over again-switching out of my new school that i love-missing my new friends-missing my family-missing being a normal person....they dont understand, i get severely traumatized easily. and i dont want that. of course, they want me to do DBT therapy but its to much money to pay out of pocket cuz our stupid insurance does not cover it. grrrrr. idkk what to do, i want to cut--maybe even . who knows. i just cant stand living knowing that ill get traumatized easily by going away, being with people who im NOT 100% like, being away from family and friends, being away from the school i just got into and then i have to transfer out because my distric at home pays for it so they'll stop paying for it all together.......i just hate life...and i blame god for all of this. he created human life. hes the one who let us have emotions, and thats fine. but mental illness, WE CANNOT HELP. its a chemical imbalance that we cant help but to live with and just take meds. i blame 100000% him. no doubt in my mind. thank you god for ******* up my life, and ruining it. i know my symptoms, and what is going to happen, i dont want to suffer even more.......great.

deb