You do indeed have a choice. That was a huge revelation for me as well. Once, I did not have the power of choice in drink. I had to drink. Today, If I wanted, I could go get a drink. But it's almost been two years, and my life has completely changed, I have a new way of thinking and I wouldn't choose that life for anything in the world, except another drink. Hang in there, pray, pray pray. And have fun!