It's so hopeless... I can't keep going on like this.
I figured out what I've tried in the past... look at all this... nothing continues to help me handle the depression. If it works at all, it's only at first. I just continue to feel terrible, have suicidal urges all through the day, and find myself unable to get anything done...

About 10 Years of Major Depression and Borderline Personality Disorder

7 years of Meds:
Wellbutrin SR/XL - Bupropion HCL (SSDRI?)
Effexor - Venlafaxine (SSNRI?)
Cymbalta - Duloxetine hydrochloride (SSNRI)
Nortriptyline (Tricyclic)
Elavil - Amitriptyline (Tricyclic)
Lexapro - Escitalopram (SSRI)
Prozac - Fluoxetine (SSRI)
Celexa - Citalopram (SSRI)
Paxil - Paroxetine (SSRI)
Zoloft - Sertraline (SSRI)
Abilify - Aripiprazole (Tranquilizer)
Ambien (Sleep aid)
Seroquel - Quetiapine Fumarate (Antipsychotic/sleep aid)
Zyprexa - Olanzapine (Antipsychotic)
Lithium carbonate (Antimanic)

8-ish years and 12-ish counsellors with:
Biblical approaches
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
Dialectical Behavioral Therapy
Behavioral Therapy

Lots of Self-Help books/reading

5-ish months of Electro-Convulsive Therapy

2 years of 15-ish inpatient hospitalizations in 5 different wards
1 year of 5-ish partial hospitalization programs

1 year of case management through CMH

What more can I do? Is it even worth trying - even if I found something else? Everything I try only disappoints me... leaving me all the more hopeless.