Thanks for the replies.. and no, I've never been in therapy or even mentioned anything to a gp. I completely clam up when any conversation heads toward talking about me so I figured any effort would be futile.. Way too difficult to think about much less talk about.. disgusting, embarrassing, humiliating...don't understand how ppl do it.

It's not really an option right now anyway, I am self employed and can't focus on work when I get the energy to attempt it so not a lot of money coming in.

Oh well.. maybe it'll just go away or at least start to wane so I can pull myself together enough to function.

Thanks again.