Thank you for the replies above. I am already a client of Voc. Rehab. (since fall 2005) That agency approved me (a good while ago) for 15 visits to a T. I spread out my visits to make them last for when I think they can help me. I go for one today, in a little while. It is so discouraging. My T. wrote a letter to my counselor at VOC. Rdhab. back in Feb. saying that I had expressed profound depression and that he did not think he was helping me. He's nice, but I have to be careful not to upset him. I think he gets nervous.

Also, they will pay for me to work with a "job developer." I don't find that this person helps very much. Back in 2005, it was the same with a different job developer. We would meet for coffee. But, I found jobs myself. I can't say she did much.

Down at the Unemployment Office (which now gets called something different), I find they offer the most useful help. Coming out of there Monday, I fell apart. I haven't been back since. Really, I should lose my Unemployment benefits if I am not making a real effort to get work. I will feel bad certifying on Sunday when I have done so little.

SSDI takes proving how psych diagnosis interferes with working. That, I am told, takes getting people to testify that I've been a poor performer in the workplace. Well - how many times I got fired should give a good indication of that. Also, it has to be demonstrated that I can't do anything else besides my old job as a nurse. I feel "How and I going to prove all this? Is it even true, or just me giving up?"

Time for me to leave now. I do appreciate that you all have offered good suggestions. Somehow I have to find how to not be overwhelmed by my situation. I feel like going to the hospital. I'm afraid they'll say, "What do you expect us to do?"

Sorry. I have gotten low today.