Ay, there's the rub eh? find meaning in life... reason to live... purpose. Everyone needs that... I am certifiably one who needs purpose MORE than the average person... so the loss of it all makes my depression more.
My physical disabilities add to the impossibility of ever finding good for me to do. I also had a TBI... the accident caused a severe blow to my head... so my major depression may well be permanent.

I just figured that depression is hand in hand with suicidal ideation... otherwise it "just" the blues... not being able to express it adds to it?

Please research anything I suggest before believing...