</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I have been reading through this thread and one thing that has struck me is that you appear to be very lonley. I know how that can feel and I am sorry your in that place right now.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Yeah, I'm lonely a lot of the time, especially when I'm upset. I start feeling like people don't care even if they do. I think I forget that they care. Right now I'm less lonely because a couple of people sent me PMs and I'm having conversations with them. It's really nice to get PMs and to get to know people.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
The one thing that you have to understand is that "people" can not make you feel better. "People" can not soothe you. This is something that you have to learn to do on your own. Because in the end, we only have ourself. Ya know?

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Yeah, people cannot soothe me. I have to find some way to soothe myself. People can never give me enough. It's really difficult for me to comfort myself.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Do you currently see a T and/or PDoc? Do you take meds?

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I see a pdoc regularly. I'm going to see my pdoc (the one who was on maternity leave) on Jan 30th.

I'm taking meds too. I take 50mg Celexa, 150 Wellbutrin, and 0.75mg Risperdal. My pdoc, the one who is back from maternity leave doesn't know about the Wellbutrin or the Risperdal yet because this other pdoc saw me while she was on leave. I'm worried about what she will think now that I'm on so many meds. Her replacement was into meds, she's more into psychotherapy. She told me once that antipsychotics where not for me. I wonder what will happen now that I'm on one and it does help me? I wonder what she will think? Maybe I let her down?

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I only ask because I know that seeing a T has helped me tremendously in the past and know that it can make a real difference. I also take Effexor XR which has also done wonders. I still have my bad days but even the "normal" people do too. LOL

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Yeah, I think seeing someone for psychotherapy would help me a lot too. The only problem is I don't have enough money to see a T on a regular basis. That is why I'm seeing only pdocs, pdocs are covered by the insurance here. Psychologists are not.