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i'm in recovery too-21 years. 1. make a thorough gratitude list. not just words. 2. share what you wrote here at meetings. otherwise it's "false pride" keeping you from doing this. 3. talk to your pdoc re your dx and your desire to be manic, etc. and be honest with him. 4. pray for the "willingness" to change for the better.
if i sponsored you i'd suggest we do steps 1-3 all over again. and your writing how those steps apply to you.
imho your thread suggests you are headed towards that slippery slope of losing your sobriety.
i wish you well.
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
Last edited by madisgram; Apr 23, 2011 at 10:57 AM.
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