Don't be too hard on yourself. The grieving process takes a while and happens at a different rate for everyone.

I'm glad you waited a year to marry him. That was a good idea. It is definitely better you didn't marry him and have kids, etc. to have him hurt you later on and lose more of your life.

I was in a 20 year marriage and it took me a year and half to consider dating again and I've heard of it taking longer for others.

Try not to pressure yourself into a timeline. You will know when you are ready. It was hard for me to be alone after being in a relationship for so long and it took some getting used to. I used this time to grieve and work on myself and my own issues.

So sorry you are going through this. We are all here to support you.