i can see why you're overwhelmed. so sorry you've gotten all this at once. as for hubby, you can call his pdoc and tell him about the drinking on top of the meds. pdoc can't discuss your hubby with you but it may help pdoc to know. i was told if you drink, just as well throw out the meds cause alcohol disrupts their effectiveness.
it sounds like you're giving so much of yourself to others that u have nothing left for yourself. your T can help you with this. right now balance is needed in your life as best as u can manage, imo.
couple's counseling for you and hubby perhaps? or tell hubby to get over the drinking or here's the door. he is causing you loads of upset. i realize he's physically sick but that doesn't give him permission to cause other problems in your life.
please let us know how u're doing. we care about you.