Danno.......

I must tell you taht reading your post struck a cord with me. Like you I am a very educated individual. And, I have held a very good professional job. And, also like you, my life has been in a tailsping for quite some time. A self-destructive tail spin that has also left me in a position of financial and emotional instability that palces me in the category of "keep your distance" when it comes to women.

I am also isolating myself from the opposite sex. My first wife was very emotionally unstable and very verbally abusive. She still is and I see her doing the same thing to my kids that she did to me. Sucking them in. Having them walk on eggshells so that they don't get her mad. This woman robbed me of the very essence of who I was. I made the mistake of getting into a rebound marriage. I was captivated by this woman as she was much younger, very feminine, very attractive and extremeley passioante. I thought I had found all the things that were missing in a relationship. But, as it turned out, all she wanted to do was use me to pay off her debt and escape to marry someone else thousands of miles away. I never saw it coming. My life was in a tail spin after that. Financially I was ruined. Emotionally empty.

I did find someone to love, someone wonderful. I thought I was so blessed to have found this woman. But, my depression led to me acting out sexually. The combination of my actions and my depression not surprisingly caused me to lose her.

So, I am in the same place as you. I don't feel that I am in a good position in terms of my relationships with women. My first wife was verbally abusive and basically a very nasty person. My second wife used me and discarded me when her purpose was met. And my next love left me to save herself... shich I can't blame her for... but the reality is that I am human and I made a mistake. Unfortunately it was a mistake I am paying the price for.

So, I can relate to the fact that you are in a downward spiral. Relate to your relationship issues. Relate to teh reality that you are not a desirable partner. Relate to your frustrations. Your feelings.

The question is how do we fix it? I for one do not have a clue.