Hello and welcome to PC.

First, I want to say thanks for being so open and coming here to let things out. It helps. I'm with Richard, I just can't believe that you don't care about your future. Your future could be so bright but only you can make that happen. You're still young and as long as you have breath in you, you have a chance at making it in this life. DON'T, please, don't, let drugs and booze be the end of you and take you to places you never could have dreamed of and I don't mean that in a good way. I'm only 19 years old and I'm a chronic relapser. Everytime something gets too tough for me to handle, I run to drugs. Everytime I want to feel good, I run to drugs. Hell, everytime I want to feel peace I run to drugs. But the thing is, it's false peace. There's no real peace in the drug world. Look around you... It's chaos every way you turn. Having to hide things, lie, hurt yourself along with others who care while you're on drugs. True peace comes from within YOU... For some reason, I get this feeling you don't have a whole lot of love for yourself. I know for me it's that way. Please, learn to love you. It'll make getting off the drugs and booze so much easier. If you need me, I'm just a PM away.

Life is hard, it's hard as hell. But life can good despite the hard times that come along with life. Our goal as addicts is to try finding the good in life and run with it instead of focusing on the bad and using to escape it. Hope it all works out for you.