Thank you for reading my post and replying. I took to heart what you wrote madisgram. I wrote an Honest gratitude list and a first step. I am getting togather with my sponcor on monday and plan on sharing this.I will write on step 2 and three. I know I do not want to loose my sobriety! I am scared to change. Am scared to let go, but let go I must. I also am taking my meds as prescribed. I must admit, it makes me sad that I won't get the good feelings that I would have but tough **** don't drink! Again, I appreciate your input. I hope all is well with you!