(((Lexicon, time, Fuzzy, LD, DJ and sj)))) I can feel the warmth from all of you. It almost makes me cry.... I had no idea that I would be "sick" for this long. One day I feel like half way up the mountain, the next I'm crawling with the crabfish at the bottom of the sea. I'm frustrated, confused, sad, angry, feeling hopeless, trying so hard, exhausted...easily stressed...low self-esteem, withdraw myself from the world and people....my mind is not working and I'm questioning everything. I'm dealing with my past, the now and the future all at once. I am on sick-leave now until feb then I don't know, and I'm not sure I can start working...not knowing what I'd do either??? I'm ashamed of being sick and weak because I've always had that strong mask. I am afraid of myself and other people. Negative thoughts flooding my brain. No matter how hard I try, there's not enough energy.... burned out... errrrgggg now I feel bad for venting and complaining. All I want is FEEL OK, give to others.....share the love that is inside me, but I'm so torn and keep falling.... Afraid this won't end.