ty all for your replies...im not sure if im trying to cover up the feelings...i have thought many times that maybe im addicted,,but i dont have the other signs like looking at porn and stuff,,i just love being physical with someone...i have to admit that no, i have not been very safe with the protection part,but am going to buy my own condoms to keep with me,,guys never seem to have any and in my experience they dont like wearing them either...i have been very clear about it not going into a relationship,but the couple of guys that became attached seemed to think they could change my mind afterwards...it actually took quite alot of work to finally get them to back off..i have told them staight up that it will never go anywhere else and that i didnt want to lead them on,,they assured me it was ok..but i have learned from that,,dont mix friends with sex...i also got attached to a guy without wanting to..he did everything right and made me feel very good,,but turns out he didnt want anything more,,i am thankful now that he turned out to be playing me till he got what he wanted,,now that i see the real him,,i dont want him...he was not honest like i was with the others...i am going to talk to my doc or councellor about the sex and see what they say..iv been embarrased to admit it,but maybe i should...again ty..