Wow, that was very well written and I could totally relate. My ex-husband was very controlling and constantly battered my self-esteem and also didn't like the windows where I regained my self-confidence. He chose not to understand my illness and couldn't deal with the fact that I was imperfect anymore and when I had a bad manic attack he abandoned me. We have a son together and got into a fight the other day on the phone over a difference of opinion and I said that's one of the reasons we are not together any more. He yelled at me you know why were not together it's because of the things you did to me.

I've acknowledged what I did. I've apologized a million times and I said on the phone to him I'm sorry I was ill but I did not do those things to you intentionally. I am a good person and you made me feel like a piece of crap. I did tons of good things for you in our marriage and I am a good person. Of course he had nothing to say to me after that. I take ownership of what I did, but his personality type and not reading or truly supporting my illness caused a lot of stress for me which as we know is not good. He didn't go to the doctor with me or hold my hand. He supposedly told me I needed help which I don't recall, but I was going to my pdoc and therapist and they didn't say I had a problem. I was taking my meds. I'd never had a manic attack before so how was I to know or him for that matter, but when I was diagnosed we all went along with business as usual. The perfect little family with a big expensive house, expensive cars, a beautiful child, lots of friends, etc. Granted I didn't research my illness either other than reading a few books like Patty Duke and Kay Redfield Jamison so who is to blame. It can be a crappy disease but we sure are the whipping post when it comes to things. I mean come on how many times can we apologize. So is life some will chose to support and others will leave the "crazy" person. It is so hurtful. My dearest friends don't trust me to watch their children or so it appears to be that way. I've offered many times but I never get a response to my offer. I've been stable for 4 years now. I so try not to take these things personally but I do and it hurts. Sorry I'm a little off on a tangent but again your little story touched a nerve and was very well put.