I can totally relate - sometime relationships seem like they're more trouble than they're worth! When my ex asked me out, a relationship was the last thing on Earth that I was looking for. I had just been diagnosed with BPII, and was scared out of my mind. But I said yes, and little by little came to depend on him for pretty much everything. Then when he suddenly dumped me after a bad manic attack, I felt like I was missing a part of me. It was kinda like growing a third arm; at first you don't really want it, but boy, is it ever useful! You get used to it, but when it gets amputated, you're at a loss. And that's where I am right now.