Greenleaves, several months ago, you posted about this very same issue and lots of people had good advice for you about staying away from the administrator. You had asked if you could send your emails to someone here instead of sending them to him, and I volunteered that you could send them to me, if it meant harrassing him less. I don't believe you ever took me up on that, and I was assuming that it was because you had your obsession under control. I'm sad to read that you're still doing it

I don't think you should minimize or justify any contact with the administrator. As you know, what you have is a very unhealthy obsession. What you've posted is a big flashing wake-up call that you need more psychological help than you are currently getting.

Please up the therapy...