</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
You know what joke I am talking about.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Maybe? Do you mean when I was talking lightly about death? The CN tower thing? Technically it wasn't a joke.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Jokes like that can make many uncomfortable and serious comments on that stuff can too

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Yeah, you're right. I have to alleviate people's fears. Larry told me the same thing...people are going to be weary around me if I keep things up. I have to do whatever I can to make sure people are comfortable around me.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
then you said you sent threatening letters...that would creep me out if someone did that stuff to me....but I am sure he will be cool and handle it well and there will no doubt be a crowd.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Yeah, unfortunately it hasn't been the first time I sent e-mails threatening my life. It doesn't help that he never shows any emotions or replies in any way to what I write. Maybe he's not OK with them. I just don't know. Maybe I won't know until the police shows up at my door to arrest me.

I hope he can handle it. I think the meeting will be fine too. I'm not nearly as scary in person.

Although...

Now that I think about it, I don't think I'll have many friends at the meeting. Someone told me that they have plans together that don't include me. I'll be all alone. If I'm all alone I know I will be upset. I just hope I won't be so upset that I go insane.

I can just imagine it now...I arrive in Toronto and wander around the city all by myself. We might get together maybe once and them everyone leaves and then I'm alone...and sad. I just hope I won't get so sad that I do something stupid.



Me, alone in Toronto...maybe not such a good idea. I'm getting teary eyed just thinking about it. Me, pathetic and alone. Wandering the streets, crying like a crazy person.



</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
It will be fine...Just between now and then take your meds..see a PDOC find a free T and end all death talk over there...maybe do not email him..good or bad

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I will do whatever pdoc1 says about meds. Maybe I don't really need so many meds. I don't know where to find a free T. That's going to be hard. I don't think there are any *free* Ts. Some might have reduced rates, but I'm sure there are waiting lists.

I really do need to end the death talk there, between now and the trip. I just hope I can do that.

I hope I can stop e-mailing him too, but I'm not too hopeful about that.