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Greenleaves said:
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so why is it a problem then?

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The thing is, I think the only reason why I'm infatuated with him is because he doesn't interact with us. He's very aloof and mysterious.

If he were more like DocJohn, if he had chats with us etc, I wouldn't be obsessed with him.

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Hi again, Green.

I think there is a very good chance that you project something onto Dr. Bob that leads you to be obsessed with him. His lack of interaction and "aloofness" makes him a perfect object for projection. We tend to do this in order to try to meet a need that's not being met or to play out with someone else an old pattern.

Could it be that your obsession with Dr. Bob is a safer way to deal with a need or obsession related to someone else in your life? Could Dr. Bob represent a father-figure who, if he only approves of you and likes you, would make everything "all better." This is a common transference/projection.

You know how he posts a new picture, and many folks say what they think he looks like or is thinking? That's a form of projection. His pictures are a bit ambiguous, usually, as his expression is usually not obvious. So we tend to "project into" the picture what we need to see or what we are primed to see. And that's how we often come up with very different responses to the same picture.

Could you be primed to or need to see something in Dr. Bob that you put into him versus that he actually is, especially due to his sort of "blank slate" style?

gg