Zoo- for the meantime how impressive that you were able to 'throw it against the wall and let it drop!" I so get recongizing how big of a deal an issue is, and the feeling that you need to 'power though it' Maybe that's not exactly your experience but whe you typed that something didn't sit right wit you about letting it be I thought it may be. Anyway please know that reading your experience gave me hope. I wish that you fill find a place of peace and safety for a while..