(((((((((((((((((((Skittles)))))))))))))))))))))))))

Its ok to have feelings. They are scary sometimes, I know. Try not to keep beating yourself up about it. You are not wrong to have feelings. If you did not feel anger then you would be very depressed. The fact that you have feelings and are able to express that (here) is very good. A therapist would say that it was "progress". So keep talking here and that is a way of letting it out. Please try not to be too hard on yourself as this then brings in guilt and makes you feel depressed again.
Keep it safe and find ways of letting the feelings out.

Thinking of you.